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She bit her lip, trying to suppress the sudden threat of tears. ‘Eve?’ Her hands stilled immediately and she drew back to look at him. He opened his eyes slowly and took a second to focus on her. ‘I meant what I said. It’s not because I’m drugged,’ he said, his voice rich and clear. ‘You are beautiful. Maybe you’ll believe me if I tell you I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I saw you at that gas station – that was well before I was medicated.’ She gave a small gasp. ‘Will -‘ ‘It’s okay. I probably wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t high,’ he said with an attempt at a laugh. ‘But it’s still true.’ He shifted, trying to face her. ‘Not exactly an exciting road trip for you – taking care of a drugged old fool blathering on, huh?’ he joked. She pressed her lips together, her brow furrowed in shock and confusion and frustration. It was a while before she finally spoke. ‘I thought we agreed you weren’t going to refer to yourself as old,’ she said quietly. ‘Right,’ he said in a tight voice.. ”They’re frustrated also because of the lack of urgency. Aging doesn’t have the gut appeal that breast cancer and HIV have. And, while aging affects us all, we’re not that good at addressing collective challenges. Like climate change. Aging ... well old people are fatalistic, the young don’t believe they’ll get old.The Lifers look for moonshots -- say, growing new organs from DNA. And the ultimate one, making death optional.This may sound sort of weird, but it isn’t. At least I don’t think it is. I like things neat and tidy. Like our double sink in the kitchen has a sprayer on the right side. Logical, most people are right handed. There’s a little rectangular space next to it where our KitchenAid dish brusher fits precisely. This isn’t by design, just a happy circumstance.Now if I indulged in five & dime psychology, which I try to avoid unless it’s directed at others, I might speculate that my personal and professional lives are so chaotic that I seek solace in tiny, controllable.
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